You Ain't Gonna Believe This Shit

"You really aren’t supposed to know about me," Fiona began. "But if you insist, then you should probably join your friend and take a seat."

"Because neither I nor my sister want to have to pick you up off the floor," Morganna said with a grin at Jon.

"I’ll gladly take a seat if that’s what it takes to get an explanation," Jon announced, as if it was his idea in the first place, then joined Richie at the breakfast bar.

Fiona looked at her sister imploringly, but Morganna just shook her head and waved her hand in the two men’s direction. Fiona shrugged. "I guess it’s all on me, then." She began to pace the confines of the kitchen as she gave them the basic facts about the Fey, how they came to be, their purpose, and their opportunity for redemption. Then she explained her and Morganna’s brother, and about her five charges.

"When Jimi and Elvis died, then John was shot, I began to worry about the two of you," she said, nodding in their direction.

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!" Jon yelled, holding up one hand and jumping off his bar stool. "Elvis? Presley?"

Fiona nodded.

Richie’s eyes were wide. "Jimi, as in Hendrix?"

Again, Fiona nodded.

"I don’t believe you," Jon announced to the room.

"John? Lennon?" Richie asked, not caring that no one was paying attention to him any more. "No fucking way."

"Fine, don’t believe me," Fiona said, shrugging and glaring at Jon. “We don’t have to explain anything to you; we just have to keep you safe.” She turned to her sister. "I guess we can go now."

Morganna knew exactly what her sister was doing and nodded in response. She made a big show of raising her hands above her head, although that wasn’t needed for them to blink out. "As you wish, sister dear."

"Oh, no you don’t!" Jon ordered, honestly thinking his demand would be enough to keep them there.

"Asshole, do you really think you can order these two around like you do me and the guys?" Richie let out a low chuckle. "I'll bet they won’t listen any more than we do."

"Kiss my ass, Fuckwad," Jon ordered, bestowing an icy glare on Richie.

Quickly, Richie leaned over and kissed Jon’s cheek, then promptly burst into laughter.

Jon rubbed at his cheek angrily. "Damn it, Rich! Quit that shit!"

The women giggled, bringing Jon’s gaze back to them. "Are you going to listen? Or do we just go on our merry way?"

It was Morganna who had asked that question. Jon was sure that she at least would gladly leave him clueless. Grudgingly, Jon muttered, "I’ll listen."

"What was that?" Morganna asked arrogantly, cupping her hand to her ear. "I don’t think my sister quite heard you."

"I heard him just fine, Morganna." Fiona looked at Jon and waited for his curt nod. Then, she began again. "I was desperate to keep my last two charges safe. So, I arranged for them to both be in the same little bar. One playing on stage, the other in the audience. I thought that if the two of them met and became friends, that it would be easier for me to keep an eye on the two of them."

Jon looked at Richie, then back at Fiona. "Are you saying that you ‘arranged’ our friendship?"

"No," she shook her head, "I arranged for the two of you to meet. The friendship was entirely on you. But, I did know that because of your powers, the two of you would be magically drawn to each other. You would sense a kindred spirit in the other."

"And thus the ‘Brotherhood’ was born," Richie said laughing. Then he sobered. Powers? What the hell?

"About the Brotherhood," Fiona said, a conspiratorial little grin on her face, "all those secrets that you’ll ‘take to the grave’, um yeah. I know all of those."

"You do?" Jon asked, his voice only slightly indicating fear.

"Yeah, who in the hell do you think pulled your asses out of the fire every single time?"

"All of them? Seriously?" Jon’s voice had risen slightly in concern.

"Sure. You want proof?" she didn’t wait for confirmation before she continued, "Okay. Let’s see. There was the golf cart incident in Florida, where you..."

Jon quickly interrupted her, glancing worriedly at Morganna. "I’ll take your word for it." Then he grumbled under his breath, "Besides, the golf cart was Teek's idea."

"Yeah, but you were driving," she nodded toward Jon, a grin splitting her face. "So, you don’t want me to tell about the twins in Toledo?"

It was Richie that jumped in that time. "Absolutely not!" His eyes went quickly to Morganna. "We definitely remember the Toledo Twins. We don’t need you to remind us."

"Was that the time where the girls were under age?" Morganna questioned with a grin.

"Yeah, that would be the one," Fiona laughed.

"You told her?" Jon cried, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Of course I did, she’s my sister. We share secrets, that’s what we do."

Jon pointed one long finger at Morganna. "For the record, those two teenie-boppers left our dressing room as innocent as they were when they entered it."

Nodding in agreement, Richie added, "Although, I doubt either of them was as innocent as their daddy, the sheriff, liked to think they were."

"Probably not," Jon agreed.

"They weren’t," Fiona confirmed.

“Oh wait,” Morganna said, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Was he the naked-in-Jamaica one?” She tilted her head to the side. “Hard to tell without all that hair.” She approached Jon and pulled the neck of his t-shirt down. “Yep, far less hair.”

“Hey!” Jon said, pulling away from Morganna.

“Yes, that was him,” Fiona said, smiling.

“Naughty, naughty,” Morganna purred.

"But that’s beside the point,” Fiona said, raising her voice over her sister’s. “Just who in the world do you think got you outta these messes?"

The two men answered in unison. "Doc."

Fiona scoffed. "He had nothing to do with it, actually he was the one that got you into all those scrapes. And, I’ve never been happier than I was when I finally got him out of your lives."

Richie grabbed Jon’s shoulder to keep him from blurting out something that he might regret. "Really? Why is that?"

The fairy looked at the guitarist. "Because my brother sent him."

"Your brother?" Jon asked. "The one you called the Betrayer?"

"Exactly. He hoped to lead you to him, to turn you evil like him."

"Seriously? Doc?" Jon questioned.

"Somehow, I don’t find that hard to believe," Richie interjected.

Jon cast a look at Richie that clearly said ‘you wouldn’t’, then looked back at Fiona. "So, you’re saying that you’re our guardian fairy?"

Her nose wrinkled in distaste at the term. "I am a guardian, your guardian. But, I will tell you only one more time, we prefer the term ‘Fey’."

Knowing what was coming, Richie rolled his eyes as Jon stood up. "Oh yeah? What are ya gonna do to me," Jon paused before finishing the question, "Fairy?"

Morganna gasped at his effrontery. She knew her sister’s temper well. "He is your charge." She barely had time to remind her sister of that before Fiona acted.

She raised her hands, palms out. Suddenly, Jon was flung backward against the wall. Slowly, she moved her hands upward, and he slid up the wall until his feet were at least a foot off the floor.

With his chin on the floor, Richie sat staring at first his friend then the small woman across the room. Eventually, his mind kicked back into gear and he jumped up from the bar stool, prepared to defend his friend even if he didn’t know how.

That’s when Morganna took a step forward. "She won’t hurt him," her voice was just a little condescending. "You have my word on that."

Now, Richie understood how hard it had been for her to trust him earlier, now that it was his brother in danger and not her sister.

“Take it back,” Fiona demanded as Jon’s face went red with anger.

“No,” he said. “Put me down.”

“Not until you take it back,” Fiona stubbornly insisted.

“You may as well do it, child,” Morganna said to Jon. “She’s very obstinate, and used to getting her own way.”

Richie burst into laughter. “Woman, Jon is exactly the same way. No way he gives in.”

“Really...” Morganna said, narrowing her eyes. “Care to make a wager on that?”

“Absolutely,” Richie said. He thought for a minute, then his eyes sparkled mischievously. “If Fiona caves, you have to give me a kiss. I’ve never kissed an almost-sorceress before.”

Morganna laughed. “As you wish. When Jon relents, and he will, you must give me a gift. Something of yours that’s shiny and sparkly. I adore pretty things.” It would also help her if she had to cast a spell to save him, though he didn’t have to know that.

Richie nodded. “I can do that.” They settled in to watch the battle of wills going on across the room. Neither combatant was wiling to give an inch.

“You know,” Morganna called over to Jon. “She is much stronger than you are, you should just give up now.”

“No, bro,” Richie said, “don’t give in. You can take her. She’s just a little bit of a woman.”

Morganna looked at Richie; at the smirk on his face. Helping her sister may not be all that bad. In fact, this could be quite fun.